Charlie Hebdo? Surely You Jest. (And stop calling me Shirley)

Tuesday night, Rachel Maddow had a great time making fun of Kirby DeLauter. Who?, you ask. Well, he’s a low-level elected bozo (need I mention, Republican) in Fredrick County, Maryland, who went bat-shit on facebook at a reporter for mentioning him by name in an article in the Frederick News-Post. Well, this being America, we know who’s in the wrong here, him being an elected official, and her being a journalist with (still) some First Amendment rights.

He threatened legal action, and maybe worse, if she ever used his name in an article again. So her paper’s editorial page issued a screamingly funny rebuke, titled “Kirby DeLauter, Kirby DeLauter, Kirby DeLauter”. And they went to town on his name, using it about 27 times, as well as mangling his name, so as to not use it, but make it clear who they were talking about, coming up with variations such as, and I’m quoting the editorial here,  “Shirley DeLaughter (and don’t call me Shirley)”. You gotta read it. 

But they finished by making a strong point. We have a First Amendment, and journalism, and elected officials are exactly who needs to be watched, and reported on, for the good they do, and the bad.  

At least Kirby DeLauter didn’t decide to attack the publication that he felt had injured him by driving up and opening fire on the staff.  Especially after the management made so much fun of his objections that he became a laughing-stock on a national news show.

The editorial also rebukes another councilman who defended DeLauter by calling journalists “cowards”. Said the Editorial, “Cowards? Tell that to the families of the 60 journalists killed in 2014 or the 70 in 2013, or the 74 who died in 2012, according to the Committee to Protect Journalists.”  Or the 12 killed to start off 2015, in Paris yesterday, at the offices of Charlie Hebdo .

Charlie Hebdo looked at the same objections over being written about, from similarly small minds, and continued to poke fun at them. At Catholics, Muslims, nationalists, homophobes, any self-important boobs who made themselves the center of the world and who called everyone else sinners or infidels or unfaithful to the nation.

I’m glad I live under the US Constitution, and its Bill of Rights, which let me write these small thoughts and send them out into the world.

But the same folks that shot up Charlie Hebdo live here. They blow up women’s health clinics, kill doctors and firebomb churches. They set off bombs at NAACP offices and shoot officials at rallies. They blow up government buildings, and shoot forest rangers, and threaten to shoot anyone enforcing range-land regulations.

Some talking head on the news last night said, “they can’t shoot everyone who disagrees with them.” And I did some quick math on America. 320 million people,  about 300 million guns, each gun with at least half-a-dozen loads.

Yep, they can shoot everyone that disagrees with them. And from what I’ve seen, they may just try.

But Charlie Hebdo is planning on publishing next Wednesday, and they’ve ordered a million-copy run. That’s sixteen times the usual run. Because these terrorists, instead of causing fear, created solidarity and determination.  And I’ll buy a copy, just to show I’m for free speech, our First Amendment, and the future. Because #JeSuisCharlie. I am Charlie Hebdo.